Daughter of Filipino LGBTQIA+ Parents Shares Pride, Challenges Faced

by - July 01, 2020

Daughter of Filipino LGBTQIA+ Parents Shares Pride, Challenges Faced

In a viral post,  Sophiya Kirsten Montaño from Manila, Philippines, shares her experience (and pride!) of being a child of LGBTQIA+ parents. 

Sophiya's post was brought about a recent class discussion in a college religion class, where she shared the challenges and stigma they face as a family.

Sophiya has two moms, which she proudly says, "I’m proud of my moms, and I’m proud of everyone in this community. We have a long way to go in this fight, but we’ll get there. We will be recognized and accepted."

An eye-opening religion class discussion that ended on a positive note

Sophiya relates how her college religion class discussed about the challenges of same-sex marriages, to which her professor claimed that "a child of same-sex parents would face an identity crisis, leaving them in a difficult situation."

She argued to her professor that the challenges of LGBTQIA+ families were more on the context of ingrained culture instead of the overused and often unfounded claims that same-sex marriages confuse children.

In her post, she says:

"I told him that as someone who’s been raised by two moms, it’s normal for children to question and it isn’t difficult to understand the concept of two moms/dads—the concept of a non-traditional family—what makes it difficult is being surrounded by people who shove heteronormativity down our throats.

"I suggested that discussions about LGBTQIA+ families should lean more on what culture makes it difficult for it to be normalized rather than 'mahirap maging anak ng LGBTQIA+ kasi magkaka-identity crisis yung bata' [it's difficult being a child of LGBTQIA+ parents because the child will have an identity crisis] because people often perceive the latter as kasalanan ng [the fault of] LGBTQIA+ parents. Not everyone understands, so discussions are important."

I’ve already given my appreciation 192817 times this week, so I guess all I have to say is that l I hope you know it’s okay to be lost, undecided, scared, etc. It’s okay not to rush things because everything rushed will only wear you out in the end. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to find what you’re really passionate about. Every day you learn, you experience and you find your passion there. What matters is you keep working on yourself. What matters is you look at everything, but instead of only testing the waters, you try to swim to the bottom of the ocean. What matters is hearing every call or cry and having the courage to get up even if you don’t know where you’re going, as long as you know you’re going somewhere. You matter. Listen to yourself as much as you listen to the people around you. Make yourself visible to you. Take care of yourself. That’s it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. - Baby rams no more HAHA Congratulations to everyone! Now I can truly say that, “The tassel is worth the hassle.”
A post shared by cosmo (@cosmicsundial) on

Sophiya concluded that her religion professor ended the discussion on a positive note, and that she was happy that her professor was humble enough to be open-minded to a difficult topic.

"In the end, we agreed that it’ll still be a long fight because it’s rooted to a deeply ingrained culture, but one that’s worth it. The discourse was enlightening for both sides and I’m glad I encountered a religion professor that allows himself to be taught as well as he teaches."

A difficult yet happy childhood with LGBTQIA+ parents

The Philippines is a very conservative country, with the majority of the population being Roman Catholic. With Catholicism being a cornerstone of Filipino culture and identity, it is no wonder that the country is generally prejudiced against the LGBTQIA+ community.

Growing up, Sophiya shares the pain and heartache of hearing hurtful comments about her family, especially coming from her own teachers.

"It was painful to process how society perceives your family that way when you go home to a space full with nothing but love and functions no different from a traditional family.

"After all, gender is fluid, and I’m no less of a person no matter where I identify myself in the spectrum, and so are you."

She adds that despite all of this, she had a happy childhood and that she was raised well:

"If there’s one thing I learned from my parents, it’s to arm yourself with knowledge, have the courage to stand up for what you believe in, and that you are capable of change so act on it. "

It's truly heartwarming to hear from the side of the children of LGBTQIA+ couples.

Love knows no bounds, and the definition of a "proper" family goes beyond the societal norms of a traditionally male father, female mother, and children.

Happy Pride Month! 🌈

Images courtesy of @cosmicsundial/Instagram

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